War has nothing on. . .

Church Basketball. Time might just prove that church ball will have kept more people out of heaven than organized crime. Good men both young and old gather with blood and venom and start with a prayer. Most of these people are out of shape and have no real athletic skill, both of these factor add more fuel to the fire. You are running around tired and you can not make a pass to save your life. So you resort to violence. Jonny and I are have had epic church ball games in our day. Jonny has had the nickname cohnan since 8th grade gym class for his slasher style. I have never really liked the non-contact nature of basketball myself. So I contact. I have made the NBA the NFL in every game I have played in. I would rather tackle someone then let then score on me. Oh I have you know I have. In the history of violent church ball rivalry's nothing comes close to the terrible hatred between the two brother jerks from the To-quer-ville 1st ward and the cool Allred boys fromt he La Verkin 3rd. Oh those games were epic. They even came up in my mission interview with the Stake President. (No mom I am not proud of this, I just think it is funny. . . there is a difference.) I got kicked out of church ball 2 years in a row. That is some kind of sick record I am sure. It was really those stupid cocky kids for To-quer-ville. . . I was innocent and so was Jonny. There was one game in which Jonny tripped and spit on the older one, and I physically threw the younger one up onto the stage into a row of chairs.. Oh those were the days. My blood still boils a little thinking about it and it was 10 years ago. The Allreds have redefined the meaning of competitive. My Uncles used to have epic battles down at the basketball pad at rocky ridge that always ended with blood. I will most likely die due to heart attack, while watching a BYU football game in which we are not winning by 42 points. I started thinking about all of this two weeks ago during priesthood session sitting underneath the basketball hoops in the cultural hall. So I had the guilt of the meeting and my violent past to deal with. . .oh the shame.